As translated by Susan (for Molly)
(Apologies to Geisel & Dodgson)
Said Molly a prissy cat washing her face,
“I’m bored and I’m tired and want out of this place.
My breakfast is late ‘cause my servant is lax,
I’ll give her 2 seconds and that is the max.”
Just then came an elephant, BERT was his name,
Molly brightened and cooed to him, “Hey are you game?
Can you serve me this instant the food that I lack?”
Her voice was appealing (her countenance black).
“Who me?” snorted BERTIE his voice true amazed,
“Me feed you? Sweetheart you truly are crazed
“To think that I’d do that? You just fantasize
“Naw, you pick on another your own dinky size.”
“But BERT dear” she countered, her voice silky now
“There’s no one to help me and you must allow
“I deserve just the best and my need is so great,
“Can’t you open that can and put food on my plate?”
Quoth ROBBIE the elephant, as he shook his grey head,
“My dear do you not understand what I said?
“No! My fingers they’ll fumble and probably bleed
“On the can as I open it for your sad need.”
“But sir!” Moll exclaimed, with eyes bright with lust,
“Your blood would add flavor, believe me, and trust me,
“your sacrifice would be a boon! Hear my plea
“There’s the can, there’s the plate just do it for me!”
“I’m thinking” BERT replied, “It might just be done,
“If you purr and my ankles you round them do come,
But I’m worried” he said, scratching fleas in his hair,
“That this thing may entrap me into a lair
“of constantly serving you morning and night
Your breakfast and dinner and gee – that’s not right!”
“Why not?” purred the beauty, now seeing a chance
At last of her plan coming up to the dance
Of her wish for a servant of much better style
Than the lax one whose failure she’d come to revile.
BERT’S blue eyes were thoughtful; they now could be seen!
He considered her problem and gazed at the scene
Of the pathetic kitty whose great golden eyes
Had enlarged to a really true amazing size.
She purred and she wound and she made a great deal
Of sucking up to him, and now he did feel
His reluctance abating until he did grasp
The can in his hand and she thought “Ah! At last!”
One two! One two! And through and through
The vorpal can op’ner went snicksnack
The food released, the plate was filled,
The sangre flowed and on it spilled.
“And hast thou fed the puttytat?
“Come to my arms thou beamish boy!
“Oh frabjous day! Callou calay!”
Lax chortled in her joy!
It came to pass, what he did dread.
All his resistance now had fled!
Moll ate that meal with glittering eyes
And kept him truly hypnotized.
‘Twas as he’d prophesized…
Now e’ry morn and e’ry night
The elephant BERT, to Moll’s delight
Filled her plate whene’r she asked;
T’was now his fate, her slave at last!
Susan Walter has lived in the South Bay for over 30 years. Her interests include ceramics, marine biology, books, and local history. She and her husband Steve are historic archaeologists. They have a daughter Rachael, and son Aaron.